Artist of my life

2010-07-28T04:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes wonder.

Where's the fair?!

2010-01-10T19:51:00.002+08:00

I dropped at city hall, then needed to change train. I went up and went down, realised I was still at the wrong side.....

Went up and finally found the right train to get on...
Wonder when I would get it right...

Today supposingly meet kiat and bunny at orchard to go for some seminar at hilton hotel. Then, bunny last minute cannot and we both head there.

Later went there and was dumbfounded as it wasn't the right seminar. Kiat called bunny and I said I wanted a free dinner as apologies =D

Went around orchard, and went to STADIUM since there's sale. Bought gloves since the equipment in the gym causes serious blisters on my hands. Cheaper by 10++.

Taka, ate KFC and heard announcement about some jap girl aged of 3 lost.

That result me after dinner, went around notice if she's there or not instead of properly window shopping. Rofl.

Lost. Lost in mind~

2010-01-06T08:58:00.002+08:00

After gym session in school, went back to 3d lab to take stuffs for shower.

Ben told me that my phone had vibrated continuously and it was from my brother, mel.

Called back and was told that Father was admitted to hospital.

I actually was kinda panicking but not showing on face.

Pack up my things and head to NUH.

Foolish me, for a moment thought that stupid man whom I always had to scold him about what he eats, gonna die just like that.

After repeated calls to my mom, she finally pick up as I made my way to causeway point. She wants me to go back home and look after my siblings and ah ma. Ah ma came on hearing the news.

She said my father; sugar level in his blood was low. I hoped it's true. But, early in the morning she went to visit him again. I have a feeling that ain't real.

Knowing my father's personality, he won't tell a thing. My mum also another one who does that. Afraid that we know about it.

Hai~

For now, I just smile to the days ahead. Think that much also won't get me no where.

Story to be told.

2009-12-27T16:25:00.002+08:00

Darwin had a friend called Chee.

Chee says he sees Darwin go out with his other friends but when Chee asked about going out with Darwin, he feels Darwin is spinning some story to shove him off.

Ain't Chee second time malign about Darwin. Again and again, quarrel and then patch off with Chee's apology.

This is heading to nowhere.

What should I do?

Furthermore, In Darwin's heart, there are two ladies who are as fearful as demons, and Chee is roled like one of them. Being suspicious and not being understanding. Putting labels on Darwin and get angry for something that is not valid.

Darwin kept quiet, seriously hoping not to break the bond.

How would Darwin do to resolve this issue?

Family outing.

2009-12-13T16:49:00.003+08:00

Today morning, my father suddenly had the feel to bring me and my siblings to eat. I was kinda shock as I don't really share good relationship with him.

I loathe about him using his work as an excuse not taking care of the family. My siblings are now my mom's and my concern. Not his.

Anyway, to be honest, I was glad he did. He drove us to eat Ba Ku Teh. Then, I warned him not to touch any pig trotters for fear of any ailment he might get. As usual, fall on deaf ears.

Later on, he said " Sin Ming Road de Ba Ku Teh bi jiao hao chi."
He asked me have I ate before at that area?

I said yes. I thought to myself." After cremating my ah gong's body. We ate there."
Of course, the dialog was spoken in my heart.

Later on, he repeatedly said how good was the BKT at Bishan. But, I could feel it. His pain of losing his father was indeed hurting him. He's that kind who could not show what he feels in him.

Din know my father could show such side of him.

Later went to get fishball noodles for my sis. She ain't tagging along as she wanted her bed more than going to eat with us.

14th is coming. Guardian Angel's game on.

2009-12-07T22:59:00.001+08:00

I hope I get what I wish though it's not possible. ^^

What should I get for andrew? Seriously, a loudspeaker? Take a paper soak in PVA glue, let it harden and wrap into a cone...

Manga items? Hmm...

Christmas is coming again and makes me recall what had happen last year...

Strict.

2009-12-05T12:13:00.001+08:00

My brother sometimes blame me for being so strict on him. I'm already relaxing on how much he studies now, but enforce alot on his discipline. I do not want to see him going the wrong way especially schools like hillgrove.

Hope he will soon understand.

BRAG games.

2009-12-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Yeah! We owned the SEG school!

Thanks to huen Yin and Krystal for being on our side to play for the girl's team.

Kinda lazy to upload pics. Perhaps put fb.

Guess what I ate today?

2009-11-23T22:56:00.002+08:00

Morning - Ba chor mee

Late morning - Fishball soup plus two slices of bread with peanut butter.

Afternoon - apple + pineapple juice, vegetarian noodles with many side dishes.

Night - Chicken rice and soup. Then went to next door eat char siew noodles and drink barley.

Late night - Seafood fried rice plus Coke Zero after basketball.

From now, if you see me eating rice or noodles, tell me and I treat you a drink.

Finally a new blog skin.

2009-11-23T13:34:00.001+08:00

Heartbreaker by G-Dragon. Also uses red, black and white, though no green...

Hope is nice. Took off the animated hearts, and apples which looks so weird in it.

Happy for my friends.

2009-11-20T23:32:00.003+08:00

Verdell with sky. =D

Ace going out with Josephine. =D

My FYP team is a happy team now ~

2009-11-15T22:00:00.002+08:00

Happy for Verdel being with the one she likes.

Hopes everything goes well for Fifi.

And Ace.

Be happy.

2009-11-15T15:38:00.002+08:00

Halfway writing my story.

As well as studying for a upcoming test on tuesday.

Preparing of what to do for the upcoming fyp meeting.

Tired weekend.

CheeseCake ~ The second one I made.

2009-11-14T02:39:00.002+08:00

The ingredients needed! Short of digestive biscuits not shown!

Today is mich's birthday. Make a cake for her.
Second person I made for.
In case people out there wondering whose the first one, it's my mum!
As a start, I need two philas cheese to make with the yoghurt.

As I make, kinda recalled I make the very first cake with my cousin and xh. But now it's different. I did it with a happy mood!

After making the base ( frozen the base in fridge), then start working with the cheese!

I know it's weird to mix yoghurt with cheese. But, put the caster sugar and butter really irks me. X(

Sorry that my cheesecake tasted too cheesy. Will improve but the cake will get more unhealthier! XD Stay tune if there's a reason for me to make another~

When I was young~

2009-11-11T23:09:00.002+08:00

Today had conversation with my parents.

Don't know how it began to drift to about how I was born.

Surprisedly, I heard something which I did not know for 19 years!

Throughout the nine months in my mother's womb, the doctor ultrascan; girl definitely.

Till the day I was born, then the doctor told my parents I was a boy.

And my parents used this to make fun of me...

Life is full of surprises...

Desperate ~ Furious ~ Anger ~

2009-11-10T15:36:00.003+08:00

Today I got my laptop with me, but no charger.

No choice to wait for the arrival of charger and do with what I have in the system.

Great, two images to work with.

No choice, had to do. Felt like leaving but that is the worst choice to choose.

This is the 5 sec thingy we had to do... title - our name.

Pop Quiz.

2009-11-08T00:33:00.003+08:00

1)the person who tagged: Fifi~

2)your relationship with him/her is: Die-hard buddy.

3)your five impressions of him/her: sarcastic, chatty, friendly, funny, considerate.

4)the most memorable thing he/she did for you: Cake. Cake I hope to have every birthday.

5)most memorable thing he/she said to you: Happy birthday?

6)if he/she becomes ur lover, you will: take care of her and make sure that she doesn't go emo all the time.

7)if he/she becomes ur lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: I'm straight. I like girls and that is going to be a fact forever...

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will: Never.

9) If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be: A 360 degree turn and LIED to me big time.

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is: Support him whatever he believes in it.

11) Your overall impression of him/her is: Sarcastic. You know what I meant Fi!

12)How you think people around you will feel about you?: Intimidated...

13) The characters you love of yourself are: Ask them.

14) On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are: "Stone" whenever I like?

15) The most ideal person you want to be is: Yeah. Somethings is best left unsaid.

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them: Love and hug you guys!

17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you:
#1. Adele low
#2. Daniel Tan
#3. Eugene Kwok
#4. Fang Jun Jie
#5. FiFi daroji
#6. Malvin Tan
#7. Michelle Ng
#8. Jayme Quek
#9. Rini Ong
#10. William Twq

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with:
- None. Confirmed.

19) Is no.9 a male or female?
Female. This question is retarded.

20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good things?
I cannot imagine. Mental block.

22) What is no.2 studying about?
'O' level stuffs.

23) When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
A few days ago. The day I tried explaining myself once again.

24) What kind of music band does no.8 like?
Not metal I suppose...

25) Does no.1 have any siblings?
Her elder sister.

26) Will you woo no.3?
If I did, the earth is square.

27) How about no.7?
Never thought about that.

28) Is no.4 single?
Yes.

29) What is the surname of no.5?
Daroji.

30) What's the hobby of no.4?
Games.

31) Does no.5 and 9 get along well?
They don't know each other.

32) Where is no.2 studying at?
Shuqun Sec.

33) Talk something casual about no. 1?
Quarrel? Rofl.

34) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
Never thought of that.

35) Where does no.9 live at?
J west I suppose? Forget again.

36) What colour does no.3 like?
I like Red,Black and Green. XD Escaping from qns.

37) Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
They don't know each other.

38) Does no.1 have any pets?
Nope.

39) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
All my friends are the sexiest!

40）What is no. 10 doing now?
Castle ages?

Tired, but fun would be more satisfying.

2009-11-07T10:07:00.002+08:00

Quite a period not going out with skakis. Tests, FYP and problems stacking on me.

If possible, I hope once again get into rolls of honors. I hope to do my mother proud especially. That's part of the reason I'm trying hard each day. And of course, when I work hard, I play hard. I find playing even more enjoyable than before.

My cousin is piss off once again. She demanded why I keep hanging around with skakis and not with her. Reason is simple. I feel happy and free, on the other side, I feel rocks on my shoulder and restrictions everywhere.

Nothing to talk about this. But she's good at swinging my moods.

See you guys soon!~

New moon ~

2009-11-03T23:06:00.003+08:00

Looked at the moon as I walked the path towards my home in darkness. I enjoyed bathing under the moonlight. I was elated. We won playing against the old warriors of the area.

*Yawns*. Early in the morning, I head down school for the training. We had to run around the rugby field 4 rounds before we start our games; the game of the day was floor-ball. After running and jogging the laps, I felt eminent pain at the ankles. I wondered when I injured it. Hmm. Later on, Linqing's gang and I went down to whack the floor. I called out, " First team." But later, another school came in without doing the appropriate etiquette. I was seriously piss off. They lost and we went in. We lost the first round as it was a first hand experience for us.

Later on, we had a second chance. We went in, and as I took the ball, I slammed the stick and swirled with full throttle towards the net; went in the net but I caused my facilitator's stick( he's the goalkeeper) fling off.

Rofl. I told him in joking sense, " Hey, Kelvin don't penalize my CE points!" Hilarious. Then, all of us went frantically chasing over a ball, but the feel of my body burning causes a adrenaline rush in me, forcing me going forward all the way.

I forget one thing. I forget about my ankles. Anyway, pain was a small deal. Experience was all that matters.

Went to class, saw the Korean gang( Marlene, Weiting, Xu Man, Jasreel) and saw puay yek sitting down in the room I'm entering. Hi was the first word to break the ice, and start chatting off a usual.

Later Xu man and Jian Wei came, I was starving big time. Went down to W1 and ate something. Bought my plate to find them but to no avail. I was not wearing specs as the lens seems different from usual. I saw Xu Man from far because of her flashy bright pink jeans! Rofl! I even mentioned it look like Gee by SNSD.

Anyway, It's was our dear Kaiwen's birthday. Happy birthday !

Went back to class and start our sound syncing with images. All of us were frustrated over the first step as we can't see the tutorial that was uploaded.

Later I decide to play with the sound instead of the images.

Saw JW playing FB Icy Tower and seemed fun. But I suck at making the character jump on the floating panels. Puay Yek laugh at my failure. Then, she start playing too and I did the same thing.

Later, Xu Man show me a clip about a budding korean girl singer who sings so well that I totally admired her. She's that good.

Went to Happy Corner, then played COD 4 for awhile with my FYP team mates before I left for home. Having a match at 8.

Meet up with Joel and went to the court. Full of teams waiting to quench their thirst for win. Saw Cassandra but din bother to say hi. Concentrating to warming with the guys and knew sooner of later someone would shout" next team!".

Unexpectedly, it was the old warriors that won us when we were young. They gave us three balls in and thrash us later. It was utterly humiliating for me. Should have respected us by playing their best.

The match had started and told Joel to stay in the blue area for blockage for Forwards to enter. Forward, me leads the ball in as and when is possible. My cousin, another kicker plays a vital role too. Daniel leads the other team to follow him and act as a decoy. Later on, the old warriors did the same thing and dear Dan and Joel went to follow the decoy resulting to lost of the match.

Told the situation to them and we had another shot. We totally in control of the situation resulting to 3 - 9. Leading, us we break their formation and the blue-in-shirt start to swear words out but music to my ears. I was actually grinning. ( He was violent especially I'm forward and had to layout. Got whack twice. Almost made my ankles more painful than ever.)

We won eventually with them unsatisfied. Took off my shoes and felt pain never felt before. subsided later on. Hope no swollen occurs. Many things to do.

Had a small chat with Joel.

Then walk him to the bus stop and head home.

Today's menu .

2009-11-02T23:14:00.002+08:00

Having a literature test on wednesday, at the same time having CPR+AED test on that very day. Have to absent myself for that module to take the test. Ironically, have to go back to school later and take the other test for the day.

The above given made me feel not wanting to leave the house. But in the end, went out with 2Ms eating at the coffee house downstairs. The girls ate ba chor mee while I ate my favorite food on my list - Seafood fried rice!~

Later on, went to IMM for Mie's appointment. Then while waiting, Mich and I went to several sports apparel shop and I got myself a pair of Pumas Basketball SHOES!
So glad it was Puma and found the design be it for basketball or for going out; suitable.

Then, meet up with Mie and went to JP. Went to play DDR, Drum-mania and usual Initial D. Finally can see some notes that are fast. Hope to improve more.

Left to Safra and head for Ishimura. Ate something new. The beef patty omu rice was superb. Mich ate the fried chicken XXL from shilin which I will never ever touch only if I reach my goal. Mie at ramen.

Chit-chat a bit and left, send Mie home. Then Mich and I walk to Arcade to play DDR but to no avail. Thus, walk around JP and then head home.

Oh ya. Thanks for the shampoo-ers and the stylers~ Enjoyed ~ Forget worries for that time.

Fun at Cine.

2009-11-02T01:02:00.002+08:00

Had a lot of fun with Skakis. Smiled like I never seen myself showing my teeth.

Sorry girls, for not explaining.

It's really painful; like I'm watching my own film as I speak.

Really sorry.

2009-10-29T18:04:00.001+08:00

Suppose to learn dance from Fifi.

All went where? ( Actually got other reasons...)

Went to dan's house eat with his family.

Oh, we got to know casandra from the basketball court. She's joining us tonight.

Dan seems interested... Cheeky him.

Hope tomorrow's a nice day for me.

2009-10-29T13:38:00.002+08:00

Lied to me.

You of no better should know how much I hate liars.

I actually believed in you till the very end.

But, all's a mist to me.

Let's see what happens after FYP, after the semester.

Please don't talk to me. I can't hit you, bear to scold you. Sorry if I kept quiet if I see you.

Perhaps if possible, we could take driving license together.

Perhaps.

Basketball devils.

2009-10-26T22:40:00.002+08:00

As usual, had fun with 2Ms. Can say that they are my counsellors whom I seek when I don't feel well.

I can see myself slowing down in the progress to difficult in DDR. Gotta improve not letting down my Shifus.

Basketball today with 4 people instead of 3. Long story. Fatigue ain't allowing me to type.

Had fun out with S-kakis.

2009-10-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

I wish there would be such outing again.

Sometime like today, Sunday, October 25, 2009.

I hope all of us are in place, happy as a lark.

We will be the supporting personal for each other be it rain or shine. I vouch for it. What about you?

We will break as one, but strong as whole.

So stay in line, and we are hard nut to crack.

Happy is all I want, and hope you give it to me.

2009-10-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

1. Blabber anything behind my back; no problem. But, it better be the facts. Or I'll hunt you down be it where you are. And I'm darn serious.

2. Play with fire in a game with me you shall try, and I give you worthy of the pain you shall take.

3. I just want to be simple; without worries, without burdens. Get out of my life.

I feel like that today.

2009-10-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel that someone had lied to me big time?

My so called sixth sense acting up.

I hope I'm wrong.

Causing headaches in me with series of problems.

Nevertheless, happy with my friends having fun. Even doing nothing, it's a relief to my aching soul.

Please. Don't bother me.

2009-10-22T23:49:00.002+08:00

I don't know why. Your smses makes me freak out.

The phone rings, my heart would pause that moment.

The scariest lady I ever seen.

I feared most in my life.

Blame me whatever you want.

In return, left me off.

Mind

2009-10-20T01:54:00.003+08:00

Mind

Think you are defeated, you are the loser.
Think you no guts, you are the coward.
Desire to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

Think you’ll lose, you’re lost in your heart.
For out in the world we seek always every second, every minute,
Success begins with a will, source of strength,
It’s all in the state of mind, mind that you have, mind that you shaped.

Think you are outclassed; you are nothing in social status.
Think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before we are sure of you.

Life’s battles don’t always go; it’s in every juncture, every occurrence, every episode near us.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Mum's cooking.

2009-10-17T21:03:00.002+08:00

This is cooked by my Ah po. Pork with peanuts soup. Deliciously unbelievable!
My mum's steamed fish. Almost tasteless but kudos to her hard work. Thanks mum.
Her veggies is CMI. I could feel a layer of oil on my lips. But, I like home-cooked food. Warmth is greatly felt though my taste buds are furious.

A day with Joy.

2009-10-17T19:48:00.003+08:00

Yawn. Slept at 5am. I wanted to clear my debts a.s.a.p.

Supposingly to go out with Joel, Ade, and Elvin. They are heading to Holland Village, eat Crystal Jade's buffet. I felt it was kinda expensive, thus decided not to.

Around in the noon, felt bad about not going and when to the gym with Joel. Follow on, he left and I went to meet Joy at JP. She's going back to school soon. Ate lunch at Subway, and head down to Gothix. Then I realise I left my bracelet at the gym's treadmill. I loved that bracelet a lot as it has black & silver groove on it. Saw Gothix had a similar one but at a price of 30 dollars. Sadded big time.

Joy went around bringing me looking for a suitable bag to use when school re-opens. Her favorite bag's strap broke. We practically when to each store that has the possiblity selling of bags. Later on, I went in Options and try fit two designs I loved.

I really love this but the price sway me away. Joy loves this too. She brought me to ManMaster and in the end, was soft-eared to heed her words buying this long sleeve shirt which broke a hole in my wallet. ( well, my wallet kinda shabby too and holes in it.)

Anyway, went to charles and keith and Joy was attracted to this warm brown bag which I thought could really go with with many outfits of hers. But I knew she would never buy it as the price was at 70 dollars! In the end, she bought the bag that look like lacoste, at the very shop near Everlast. 40 dollars. Phew, at least she did not got the other one. On the way home, sneak peak Gothix again, I fell in love with the metallic bracelet that was showcase out. Has three sides of fusion black and silver, mesmerizing to me.

Took 187, and went working on at home.

This Post Shall Be About...

2009-10-17T02:24:00.003+08:00

My Mom's cooking previously, around two days ago.

Uploading pictures soon.

Today's day.

2009-10-16T23:23:00.003+08:00

Morning went for training in school.

Rain heavily. Wasted my time.

Went in class.

Did editing of photos.

Presentation.

Went find Ace discuss about FYP at Subway.

Head to school library to find cliston; going home with him since on the way.

By chance, saw Sim Fenni, Shu Xian and Berry discussing FYP. Sat down and hear about it.

Don't know how it start, I began to chip in ideas since I was there doing my RJ.

Hope it helped them.

Fenni was performing her moods when discussing FYP. Kinda interesting.

Anyway, when back home with Fenni and Shuxian since all hitching the same train.

We were discussing about our secondary lives.

Fenni say about how daring and monstrous she was in school. She even threw water on the cleaning lady when she was answering her call in the toilet. Hilarious of her.

Shuxian had a much peaceful life in secondary school. She had a fierce discipline master whom taught them social studies for two years. Everyone were afraid of him, and even some of them; eyes shutting, they had to force strength to stretch out their eyelids.

Went home, as usual, fatigue drag me down no matter where I went. Felt like going out with 2Ms, but body not saying it. Later, Cousin asked me to come down asap to play ball. Some better players are at the court right now, and they lack one person. Went down unwillingly and played for an hour. They were rough but I went with their style to ensure victory.

Phone rang when I sat near it, seeing that I got a new fb acc! Not mine, fenni's acc. She wants me to serve her chicken in cafe world. Facebook application got that fun arh?
Guess so for most people but not for me.

Later went home after a "bar chor me" session with them, click the chicken and went to do my work. Then on, still work. Again, work.

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P.S: Are you able to tell me what is your mistake? If not, then don't bother getting me through any modes of communication. Told you once, but you did it again. Don't give me the excuse of you thinking simple. I'm no retard. Don't waste my time, neither wasting yours.

Had quality fun with 2Ms.

2009-10-15T23:56:00.002+08:00

After school walking to the station with qin, then head towards JP. Got two new senseis coaching me in DDR. Perhaps, some of you don't know, actually I'm a retard in coordination towards my steps.

I stepped on the machine, and being the first lesson by them. Being taught about the basic stepping issue, ( I love to return to the center after some series of steps) thus Mie said that need to discipline my "ka".

Later on, Mie showed me by playing a very basic song, so that I could understand about the issue of leaving my foot after the step, then to the next one.

At first, the next song on DDR, advice seems to fall on dead ears. Legs not doing the suppository work. Later on, somehow more used to leaving my previous foot there, and continue stepping with the other.

Further on in time, I watched how Mie & Mich played DDR once again. Sure enough, I was astonished how excellent they played the game, how their footwork had amazed me. Mich was accurate in the beat, and thus had a higher score than Mie. But, seems that Mie's speed can go a higher level than Mich except her accuracy not to the point of Mich.

Well, to the people out there who don't know them, they are really great in what the play, even in KOF.

What corrected me was commands from Mie. "Left, Left , Right, Right, Left..." As I was lost suddenly in my footwork, her commands did work well.

Now my first lesson has began. Hope able to play a higher difficulty.

Thanks to 2Ms~
Nice of them to teach ~

Friday's another day of torment. In the early morning, military training takes place. Then, long school hours follow by sparring which I'm not very interested.

How? I don't know. Take a step once a time.

Saturday's approaching. Not really enthusiastic about going to holland village. Kinda far, and don't know where it is situated. Be meeting Joel, ade and Elvin.

P.S - I felt tired and slept on my bed. Guess what I dream of. Someone massaging my back as I was feeling tired. Woke up and found it hilarious. But, kinda feel happy. Don't know why. Mysteriously weird but smiles shown vividly later. ^^

Today's class.

2009-10-15T11:59:00.002+08:00

We were given each slip of paper writing two words. I got " I cannot..." and we need to use these two words at a start for the paragraph.

This is what I wrote.

I cannot forgive smokers who implicate others especially when these smokers walk down the corridor full of people, how many of them are inhaling the harmful toxics? Except him/her with the filter in the mouth, the rest had a higher percentage getting related diseases and the repercussions carries on and on to many significant issues not only the second hand smoker.

Sabrina read my essay to the class. The first reaction some gave was, " I thought you were a smoker." Sandy shouted, " Me too." I was befuddled. I look that fierce to be thought that way. That's my first impression to them. XD

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P.S - If you still do not get the mistake, do not call me or find me.

My appetite increases!

2009-10-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

I have been eating 4 to 5 full meals a day. Why do I feel so hungry?

Got worms in me? If this continues for a week, I'm going to enforce discipline to myself.

Yup, I will suffer big time, and feel really low.

Water Hazard! Nope. Just kidding.

2009-10-14T12:00:00.002+08:00

Went to meet 2Ms after school. Found them at the competition pool without my specs. Everything was blurred to me. Saw them due to their frantically waving over.

Went in and got disturbed by the lifeguard of wearing a t-shirt. I was actually wearing a ARENA shirt suit. I know that the shirt was allowed. The only difference between me and that lifeguard is a renewed CPR certificate for my side. Maybe my facial expressions caught to his attention. X(

After 2Ms went to the toilet, I sprinted two laps of freestyle for warming my body up. Then. we went to the lazy pool. Mich and I went to the right, heading down the pool, while Mie went to the left. We followed Mie in confusion and realized we are doing the same thing in the other direction. Giggles in me. Went in the lazy pool, drift like a fish. After few minutes, I saw the water guns before the artificial rock mountains sprouting out. Arh! Time to get out of the lazy river and head down to the wave pool!

2Ms went in quickly, while I tag behind, slowly feeling the water pushing against my legs. Drag my "ka" bit by bit, then in we are, waves start to whack in hard. *Mental Block* Then, 2Ms want to carry me. Shocked big time. Amazingly, the both of them carried me well. WonderGirls do exist. ^^

Anyway, when I jumped on Mich, she raise her self up and knock my jaw up. I fell. into. the. water. instantly... Retry and success.
Mie did a epic stunt. She jumped from my left, and hop, then drop from the right. =_=

"Mental Block"

Head to JP to fill my stomach. Ate subway. Mie went home to eat. Later on, too tired to go to arcade. Went to take 187 with them. Talk craps and more, then alone I was heading to my bus stop. Alight there, and went to the kopitiam I usually go, and bought seafood fried rice. Ironically, this young girl who ordered for me, stuttered ... Am I that freaking monstrous? I felt like arh, sorry. didn't meant to frighten you. Later, while waiting, she gave me continous looks, with another counter girl. =_=

Freak me out. Tell her that my parents did not want me to look fierce, but no choice? Rofl. Went home, chit chat with Skakis and slept.

Try buying the fried rice from there to see really the same thing is going to happen.

Drained.

2009-10-14T00:20:00.001+08:00

Tired. Post about today another day. The next post would be interesting. Garanteed.

Poignant pain. Ain't just physical. But both.

2009-10-13T13:28:00.003+08:00

In the morning, I coaxed myself up the bed, finish the necessary toilet etiquettes, and head out for the military training. We were gathered at the soccer field, and heard something amusing, but later found it threatening.

"Today, we shall run 7 rounds around the track! Each clock less than 1min and 45 seconds!"

First, three rounds it was a breeze to clock less than 1min 40 seconds.
Later on, when reaching the end for each individual lap, i was like walking on air, my legs were feeling numb, and I started to raise my legs higher and higher, almost similar to marching. Hilarious indeed, and did ran quicker than the proposed time.

At the last lap, I could feel my heart throbbing forcefully in me. That kind of impact was a first experience. Legs feeling the lactate filling in, sweat flowing profusely, and head right for the last timing; phew. Got 1min 27 seconds for the last clock-in. Should be able to achieve silver for my run.

Took a quick shower, and head back to get a drink with Nic and gang. Went to our respective classrooms in fatigue and the day kicks off.
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Today, Nic asked me to hop to his FYP team doing on Industry FYP, touch-screen game. Requested budget was 50k, and had 3HDtv for projection.

Ironically, this was the project issued to us at first, but my team mates worry about handling it.

I was tempted as I knew this would give me a great leap in my future work course.

I was as the same time, obliged to continue with the project; stopmotion.

Thus, I decided to consult my team-mates first, whether they allow me to go over. I will go with their answers be it, their reply is ain't want I want.

Told ace about it during dinner. He say he was stress and will jump from the building if I hopped. I was dumbfounded. Like I said, the three of them decide my fate. He keep whining about how much workload he has, and gave expressions which I felt piss at.

Like neither of us need to work. Thus, I told him if he were to show that "him" again, I will be affected, so will fifi and verdell; nothing is going to go well in the stopmotion project.

Makes me think that Singaporeans are well-fed and not able to handle much workload. You never will know, actually the person next to you may well be a man whom braved through many heart-wrenching situations, endure tough times, and what worst is you complain about how your finger hurts; to him.

Ace, not blaming you of anything. Oh. except that time when you almost killed me.
Just that, the stress thingy is what makes us a better man. As the most, we go out chill, drink a little and face the day after.

Lax out on a Monday blues~

2009-10-12T23:23:00.003+08:00

Morning I went out from Daniel's house. Not waiting my my cousin hang to wake up. Had to meet up with Skakis. Went home, took a bath and went to imm. Get a custard puff from POLAR. Then, pass by a shop selling different colors of shoelaces. Got fascinated and bought my three favorite colors, green, red and black.

Today, felt like wearing black and red series. Woar Von Dutch shoes with the new red laces placed in, and went out happily.

Met up with Mie and Mich (2Ms), JJ and will. Happy even not doing anything. Feel relax big time. Watch the movie Tsunami and felt moved with all the sobby scenes. My emotions evoked at several times.

Later went to the fountain of Cathay, and chat awhile.

Went Plaza Sing to find Gene at the arcade. I finally got to experience KOF( Should be KOF, can't remember vividly). Do my best to play well.

Later went around the food heaven of Plaza Sing, get some finger food and headed to the station. As usual, we crap crap and more crap. Went to JP, and send Mie home as usual. Then, we head down to the arcade. Finally, wack the DDR!

Before that, saw will on Para-Para. He's good.

Remorseful. That's the word.

2009-10-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

Apologies to friends I went out with this season. I'm affected by many issues thus I bring my emotions to my very face. Seems like more and more problems stack exponentially.

Thanks for being my listeners! You know who you are!

Going out showing my 'stone' face.

Going out showing anger in me.

Going out with my body there, soul drifting away.

I try to change alright. Perhaps like mich said, get a gf, solve 3 problems straight away. Perhaps I would feel more happier than usual. I'll change. No promises.

Be happy. XD ^^

Antagonist vs Protagonist? , unexpected sms.

2009-10-11T13:11:00.003+08:00

Two STA modules taken besides my own school relevant modules.

1. Character Design.
2. Art of story.

Literally, you would think character design is about making out a design with creative thoughts. That's just skimming through the surface. From day 1, after hearing Mr Teelip-to-be, psychology of how to portray the chracter, alter ego to note and many things that we are unsure of.

Art of story. Creating a story with randomness? *Laughs* Nope. Composition is one thing, knowing literature, knowing of how story can appeal, engage the audience;eye contact.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hf sms me at 4 plus in the morning. Baffled big time. I thought I had made myself clear.
Get out of my life. I'm happy with my friends, and that's all I need. Stressful to see you, see your name, see your calls, see unknowns, etc, making me not breathable.

L.M.A

Another day has passed.

2009-10-10T21:19:00.002+08:00

Today had much fun but in a headache, addition with feeling the cold outside, feeling the heat in me.

Anyway, slept at Joel's home. Woke up and went gym with him. Felt extreme fatigue in me. Continue to survive.

Wanted to go AMK to renew nebo card. Halfway down, I guess Joel find it troublesome, and perhaps knew that I want to avoid that area, thus head straight down to the basketball court near Mich's home.

Went in a bakery store which sold some good pastries at a cheap price. Joel bought bubble tea. Then, went to the court and wait. Called mich down and wait for her basketball to roll play.

After sometime, I can feel my body reaching a limit, especially after playing 1v1 with Joel. It's a feeling I rarely felt for long.

Went JP and played a little of drum-mania. Then, head for Subway for dinner. Walk around with mich see got any nice shirts or jackets for our clique shirt. Getting shaky and heat & cold wrenching my heart.

Bye to mich, and went home. Drench myself in cold water, killing the heat in me, enduring the cold. Later, argue with my father about expanding. Not opening another store opposite Ya Kun Toast, fighting someone which has reputation. Blood pressure raised, and heat in me amplifying exponentially.

Thinking of a romantic storyline.

2009-10-10T01:21:00.003+08:00

What about playing timetable with the girl you love, using the fingers? Would that be romantic?

Perhaps blow on the window pane, forming mist and write how much you love her; romantic?

Thinking in session.

Happy hour with Joel.

2009-10-10T00:41:00.002+08:00

Jamie & mich came to my school, wait for me till my sparring ended.

Went to JP to have our dinner. Jayme had to go home eat. A bit envious of eating home cooked food. Sick of food outside. Thanks to such food, having fever, sore throat killing me. Send Jayme home, then head to Jurong point eat LJS.

Bought red wine from 7-11. Happy hour starts now at his home.
Aftertaste of wine was that bad; taste so sour. Leave too long and turn bitter.

Class with people I all know.

2009-10-09T15:12:00.002+08:00

Today team up with Puay yek(again XD), Lynnda and Pei en. Each of us do on a particular printing process such as magazines, t-shirts, etc. Lynnda done the complilation of our slides.

Lynnda and Pei en busy chit chatting on fashion trends. Especially blogshops, Lynnda is one that loves such stuffs. That's her bubbly side.

Puay Yek as usual, sat a side and kept real quiet. As usual her sighness is sticking on her since Monday.

Bored. School life is boring.

2009-10-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

Third day of school.

Not bad, although most I do not know at all, I kinda communicate well with my group mate. Shawal, Wendy and martin. Today's module was on storytelling. We had to tell a story with 20 random things and linked them in sync. We laugh our heads off due to how random we made the story and crap around as and when is possible.

Our facilitator gave us this question for our reflection journal.
"My story begins...(please continue)."

This is what I wrote to her.

Oops. Sorry, the content cannot be shown. Let me keep some secrets of my own.

Classes for the last semester.

2009-10-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

First day - Not bad, I presume all are DIDM fellow friends. Team with Puay Yek, Jian wei. Doing on chili advertisement. Got a little awkward with meeting some friends in the class which many god-zillion years never seen.

Second day - It's another school module but we(the DIDMS) Populated almost the whole class. Teamed with arini, azeela and jacky. Though I find arini and azeela very quiet and shy. Heard all of them telling about their personality and their alter ego.

Kinda fun today, as I heard Fenni talking about herself like so aloof, calm. She says she likes to be around with crapping and fun people. XD. Funny of her to say that. But I did see her alter ego when she is working at Jurong Point, and games that she play. Also get to hear some different diploma's people of who they are.

Work is nice. I feel something to replace my emotions. I rather feel fatigue kicking in physically, than compare to torment in mind.

What I feel now.

2009-10-07T23:05:00.002+08:00

Nike Run is around the corner. 24th October. I have to meet my cousin and xh once again. It's vexing. I do not want another debate about who's right or wrong. I already made my stand of telling them to leave me alone. But it seems, they don't get it.

L.e.a.v.e M.e A.l.o.n.e

That is all I ever wanted from them. I don't care anything else.

Right now, I want to have fun with friends, help them if I ever had that ability, wreck havoc together and that's that.

Enjoyed. Fr33.

2009-10-05T21:37:00.002+08:00

Enjoyed feeling the salty breeze of air.

Enjoyed feeling of stepping the sand, not feeling off the earth.

Enjoyed feeling of looking at the azure blue sky.

Enjoyed feeling of talking crap with my close friends.

P.S. Love the cheesecake. If it was more cheesy, I would like it big time.
Asahi still the best.

Be strong!

2009-10-04T15:03:00.003+08:00

We are not here to play, to dream, to drift;

We have hard work to do, and loads to lift;

Be Strong!

It matters not how deep intrenched the wrong,

How hard the battle goes, the day how long;

Faint not—fight on!

Someone taught me this. Apologize who read and taught me this. Perhaps it's Malvin. Perhaps it's someone important to me. I'll fight on.

This is delicate to someone who is my friend. Hope you can infer my words.

Happy times. Starting school. Problems unsolved.

2009-10-03T23:54:00.003+08:00

I'm breaking apart. How am I suppose to face my cousin and Xh in the future? Family gatherings they would be there. Celebrations of festivals they would be there too.

So am I going to explain another round? Ignorance I have done. Ain't working. I don't want to see them anymore. They think simply too much and doubt everything I say. I just want someone simple. That's all. A girl that willing to walk with me, enjoy the bliss, savor the bitterness and walk the path of life.

Got rejected is a small issue, but after I got doubt for being angry, which I explained clearly myself for four times. After that, I silently admitted to all my mistakes as I didn't want to voice my thoughts again. I'm sick of repeating myself. Now, I bear the guilt and mistakes on myself. Easier life for me and I do not need to explain once again and get doubts which I loathe to core.

Second issue. I'm kinda tired handling the house as in taking care of my siblings, luckily my little brother did not stray off to being a gangster, and my sister is working hard in school. My dear mother is taking care of the laundry, of course she likes to use "aiya, I wish someone could have help me..." and my siblings and I had to help out as and when is possible.

My father is indeed a successful businessman. But, he fails as a father. I'm as though doing his job and I hate him for that. Fails to celebrate our birthdays, fails to turn up for family gatherings, fails to mingle and know about us; he ain't know anything about us or how we fare either in social or work. I still remembered vividly how he caned me during my sleep due to his druken stupor. I remembered this for long.

I had to be the one for my family. Not trying to say I hate it, I wish someone would share these with me. It's getting heavy day by day. Tiring and fatigue to core. Though sometimes the burden gets removed for a short period of time, I have to face it at the end of the day.

Another issue is I got hold of two problems which ain't suppose to happen in the first place. This is embarrassing; but I feel irritated when I never do anything to signify passion for the other. Worst of all, some of my friends partook in this situations and I had to apologize for issues I've never done. Anyway, the most pressed matters are still settling cousin, xh and my father. My siblings are voicing out to me about my father's not doing well his job. Actually, till the very end, what I need?

I don't know. My friends asked me venture in relationship again when I lost this kind of trust after my first and 4 sweet years of romance. Break due to my obesity is causing her losing face. How people can be so superficial as and when they like. Well, I don't blame her as I was fat till I loathe myself when I look in the mirror. 120 ++ was me at that time. I was devastated. Then, finally meet the second one whom had many interests just like me, can talk about anything under the sun; she ain't want commitment. Commitment to me is important.

Third one, xh, she thinks too much and doubts here and there like my cousin. I'm blind to think she's suitable. I loathe totally when people doubt me. My style would be not explaining anything. You take my words, fine! Not, then forget it. Explained but treated nothing but mere dust speckles.

Of course as usual, I'm not a guy who will let my emotions get to my studies. I hope I get in to the roll of honours once again. At least, my dearest Mother would be happy and feel glad that what she had done was worthwhile.

Buck up, Soh. You have a long way ahead of you. Survive.

Today's outing with my friends.

2009-10-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

Upon writing this post, first thing comes to my mind would be cliston. He's unhappy that I fled from the supposed outing to fish prawns and to "ton" the night. True, he speak the words from my heart; I didn't wanna go as I'm afraid that I would have not much energy to hang on. But, I'm still would still love to go for the outing as I promised them.

Sorry my friend. I sincerely hope it would not affect anything at all. My fault for putting two things on the same day. Got that in mind. I don't want to lose a great friend/ pal which ain't easy to get together.

Truthfully,

me.

What I have learnt till 19th?

2009-09-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

Let me think...

1. Don't talk about education. That's a must.

2. Recorder? I love the music lessons during primary school days. No worries but pleasing to ears.

3. Table tennis since primary, secondary school. Enjoy sweating with my bunch of KakiS!

4. Basketball and badminton as and when I feel free. Easy access to the venue and team bonding with friends.

5. Swimming since young and got Goldstar awarded by SSC. Gladly, it ended. Boring sport.

6. Dragonboat during poly times. Straining, tough but savor the burning calories in you.

7. Learn art from Mr Ye for ten long years. Though I loathe waking up early in the morning but thanks to him, he cultivated who am I to this day.

8. Learning in process of violin. My favorite

Free.

2009-09-29T01:44:00.004+08:00

Been going out with Mich, Jamie, William, JJ and linus. Feels light and no burden at all. I forget all worries except one, but at the very least I can do what I want.

I finally get to embrace what it feels like to be free, and have fun like nobody's business. Sometimes I thought to myself, if I haven't grow up, would life been simpler? Yes, it would.

Leave me alone.

2009-09-24T00:47:00.002+08:00

I want to do what I want. My expressions and actions when is not sync to your thoughts, I fear your anger. I go out with your friends, my expression show this way, but you thought of another way. I feared to go out with you. I feared going out with your friends. I feared your smses. I feared your calls. I feared your voice. I feared your doubts. Leave me alone. I'll be a happier person.

I didn't know she was that angry.

2009-09-13T11:20:00.000+08:00

Seems that she did not want to have any contact with the one she rejected. I thought it all along it was my cousin that unhappy about it. Seems that all the incidents happened after the rejection, they thought I this and that, but I wasn't trying to mean that way. What to do when my tone and facial expression prove the other way.

Though everything seems solved on the surface, but best is I disappeared before her. Anyway my time getting hectic, and she would be happy too.

I wrote my feelings for her in a diary.

2009-09-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

I chucked away the pages I had wrote about her.

I saw how awkward she felt, thus to prove that I'm not going to consider standing a chance again; wanting to start a new page being friends, then chuck it into a bin.

Hopes she understand.

Of course, I kept the pages of rejection to be part of my memories when I'm old.

Part and parcel in life.

Trust me; if not it's going to be awkward and I felt pressurized these few days with you. Sooner or later, I'll breakdown. Trust me alright. That's all.

Dear one.

2009-09-01T00:48:00.002+08:00

I may ask her at the JUMP concert.

I want to ask.

I need the courage.

My obesity is the barrier again.

Give me the guts.

Strength and faith befall me please.

Not now.

Not tomorrow.

But, on Saturday the 5th.

I want to gourge myself to death. Can?

2009-08-24T02:09:00.000+08:00

I have been eating hectically these few weeks especially when I feel the heat going on.

I want a serving of squid, inside stuff with glutinous rice.

I want a serving of bbq stingray, with sweet and spicy sambal sauce on it.

I want a serving of steamed fish, with tomato and ginger slices on it.

I want almond milk to drink every single day.

I want almond beancurd.

I want almond paste.

Give me can you? I be very happy.

Ut.

2009-08-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

Desktop consists of 100gb of data. No wonder restarting my com, cause my 20 mins of my UT time. Fed up.

Then, saw the mail of deferment and health screening. Even sadder.

Girl chill me off. Thank you.

Then, I found out only can register the health screen on 23th aug. Great.

In midst of examinations. Fatigue. I'll be happy.

Sadden.

2009-08-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

My cousin smsed me asking whether free on Saturday. I love to join her and her friends, especially with she and xh. I'm currently in midst in my final examinations. She seems piss off especially after the last sms I received. I hope she can understand my situation.

Stressing up over programming, and cause me to eat and eat and eat. I'm food guilty, and at the same time feel stress remove slightly once I ate something happy. I'm cranking up soon. Relieve me! Anyone!

Another week passed. I feel heavy in heart.

2009-08-16T15:35:00.002+08:00

I thought I could lean onto my emotional support during the weekends. But, it seems no matter what happens on me, anything about me, she ain't gonna give a damn. I feel sadden.

Seems inches to me yet unreachable. I felt like not able to achieve a lot of things. Not easing. I feel not nice. Unbearable when cold was treated on me from her.

Exhausted.

2009-08-12T15:41:00.002+08:00

5 days a week, from morning till night in school.

Trainings for preparations for the incoming NAPFA, school time till late afternoon, filming or programming during the night.

Went home, took a bath, brush my teeth, and go to sleep. The next day carries on.

UT 3 coming soon, and I'm feeling bushed. I need a source of energy to pull my through. Wei, where are you energy? XD.

I'm afraid before the examinations come, I would fall apart.

Feeling more dizzy spells then used to be. Afraid of another blackout and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I hope it's just fatigue. Fatigue it must be.

19 years has passed in a instant.

2009-07-27T22:50:00.002+08:00

My team mates/ brothers; Ace and Fifi. Everyone's not perfect. I have to like their bads and their virtues. I remembered when I was in year 1, I use to ostracize people who has a certain flaw such as not doing their work during team discussions.

I had to change, evolve and start to think two ways. For example, like Allen, he's ain't a workaholic, and seldom participate in group work. But, I try to find virtues to hide his weaknesses. He's a unparalleled talent in music, which awed me especially when he talks about it. His presence made me dumbfounded unlike during the days we study together.

I won't nitpick if anyone don't do their work in my team. I would try to look at different perspective of that individual, perhaps there's reason laying behind.

Ace; he's a material in editing, responsible and loyal to friends. But, one bad thing that I loathe is that he can be quite stubborn at times. I remembered one occasion about who's the leader of the team and he reacted quite strongly. I worried I would face this issue of who to be the leader of the FYP for the second semester. I would definitely vote myself, as I'm neutral and a HRM person. Verdell and Fifi sure enough go for the MV proposal while Ace towards fighting flim. That's when I come in, decide in details of the timeline, and when is when, meetings, and every details that may come in during and after production.

I'm a strict person when regard to work, friend's ties would be neglected seriously and only work is produced. Easy to get work done. Sure, joyous moods are needed but hope not leading to laziness.

Well, what to do? Everyone got their weaknesses exposed and we should embrace them.

Fifi; he knows me. His aloof aura makes him cool. Sometimes I do hope he can put more effort in the work he does. Of course, I'm just trying to be nitpick once again. I love to be a perfectionist. He's a music man and I like his passion to burn on this. People with dreams are beautiful, right? Yes he is.

Rationality : Do not make selections towards people; especially when making friends. Weaknesses is part of them, so is their virtues. Like one of the obnoxious people in our diploma, Jason, although he does not do his work, I may throw a few sarcastic comments, but I notice his efforts in going to the library and borrow a book and a cd on ActionScript 1.0. Kudos to this effort.

I thought I found what I really want.

2009-07-25T16:42:00.000+08:00

These few weeks I resided in ace's house beautifying our FYP project. Well, it's part of our portfolio and we wish to do it well.

Sometimes I asked myself what I am chasing after.

Sometimes I asked myself what I want in life.

Sometimes I asked myself what I really need in life.

Sometimes I asked my heart and mind about the questions above.

And I get two answers that differ one another.

I... Kind of lost in my world... I want to relax and lay on the grains of sand, look at the vast blue sky, feel the salty breeze and enjoy all these with a companion... Won't that be the best thing you could do in the world?

Don't talk to me about monetary issues... Seek a wall and bang yourself.

Besides kin, friends took part in crafting the way I think.

2009-07-09T22:30:00.001+08:00

After these few months of inactivity in my blog, I came to realize friends that you chose to be with, hang around determines part of your advancement in life.

For example, dearest hf and xh. They have certainly brought my learning journey to a step further than before. Advices that I never glimpse before in my mind. Advices on how to tell my other friends certain problems and even problems of my own. These advices don't come easy from them; I felt that great advices comes by, by immersing oneself into the given situation to get the feel of it. I find them knowledgable in life and street-savvy.

Xh always like to say she accomplish not much in life; well deep in my heart she has already achieve great deals which I may not straight away shout "Hell, Yes I can!" Hf, she's definitely hotheaded sometimes, and her opinions can tilted to one side, but her gutso sway me off with admiration. She won't hesitate to speak free her mind which I like about her point. Xh should consider gaining this attribute of hers.

Till this day, I ain't sure why I felt so relief and elated when seeing them, its like my problems are nothing anymore, have fun and be a lark. Seems that they are going to work on the weekends, and when hf ask me what would I do if the manager ask me to work on weekends? Of course, I turned in to my human nature and said" No, I ain't working on weekends manager." Then I told her not to care about what I said as that sentence contains my selfishness. Hf asked what I meant by selfish? I kept quiet, not going to answer that question. I've learn that she needs money to pay her car lessons, etc so what more I can say? As for xh, she brings my mood high & mighty, especially when she's all happy and energetic. I can't be selfish right? Work is definitely more important than to rot with me on weekends.

I'm kinda straying off the given topic; thoughts to many issues has change and I began to think more positively in life. Like what raudha told me, "Hey, Alvin I find you less sighing and not so stress like the previous semester." I smiled with thoughts.

Besides them, a couple played a part. Well, should I say they taught me it ain't easy to maintain a relationship, know about give and take, understand each other? Know how to care for friends, be more forgiving rather than to suck up hatred?
Most of the time, I interact more with Clis & Cheryl in school. I would always tell about my days to them without any restrictions. I can shout to you in your face now that education is not all about what lies in life. Clis though not academic inclined, sometimes the advices he says to me is seriously profound but in his own broken English structure of sentences. Cheryl would spark my mind thinking more deeply than ever.

Sham, Greg, Gx, Scandal are the four musketeers who are the love/sex gurus. I must hand to them for being so "knowledgeable" in their respective expertise. They can cheer me up easily when I feel down and makes me laugh without any thoughts remaining in me. I feel free with them. Advices are seldom, but if it exists, I would give thoughts to credit it.

The "unknowns". You all know who you are. Advices which shared throughout each of our own problems. Its like going through our problems and solve it together. That's what so special about them.

A new friend I've make in class; Mint, she's very experienced in life. Perhaps its the job she has;tutoring kids that made her more mature, and the ups and down in her path craved her to be stronger than ever. Problems that are asked over are in turn returned with great thoughts.

Retarded me.

2009-07-09T19:00:00.003+08:00

I lost my wallet in the train upon reaching Jurong East. I came out not knowing till I start to slide my right hand to friction my backside, slap it to confirm and found out that my wallet is missing and still lying somewhere on the cabin. I went in the cabin and was squashed by the overcrowding passengers. Then, this kind soul offered to stand up and help to look for my wallet. Guess who is this kind soul? It's a Bangladesh ironically. My own race, and the other races were staring at me as though I'm hit with H1N1.

I went out hastily and seek the station master for help. I left my number and the key items in the wallet. He had excellent service attitude; I felt his sense of urgency to contact with the other station masters, and furthermore he consoled me at the very end.

Then, the retarded me, my mind went to the data bank and retrieve the lost data from the recycle bin. I left my wallet in my bag before the start of my understanding test. I felt guilty of troubling the station master. I'm not going to talk about this matter as I felt extremely stupid not able to recall issues like few minutes ago and I could remember things freaking long ago. Disastrous day indeed.

P.S. These two days, I saw two different Bangladeshis offered to two different old ladies for their own seats. Where's our own race standing now? I realize there was several black sheeps in the Bangladeshis which cause stereotyping. They are people with great courtesy, so please respect them. Of course, I once do saw a Bangladesh ogling at xh, I stared daggers at him and he did back off. Don't take this line into your consideration, readers but in the end you will right?

Play monopoly till morning.

2009-06-26T13:26:00.001+08:00

Play with hf,xh & yy monopoly from 3am to 6am. Fun it was and I became the biggest loser ending up with mere 4 dollars which cannot even pay the cheapest rent. Slept an hr and went wash up, heading for audio & video class.

I want my weight to be at 75kg.

2009-06-24T20:52:00.002+08:00

Seems that I'm packed from Mons to Suns. I need time to target my weight. After the 10 weeks of work, fyp, tests, Ace and I will work hard and burn the remaining fats exist. I meant it and that's that.

Buying a present for Xh.

2009-06-19T11:56:00.003+08:00

This is crap. Serious crap.

Went taka B1 to change my laptop bag to Digiskin's 17 inch Yin Yang bag but sold. Change into a pair of canvas shoes.

Went to search the Jap ear phones but sold.

Went to check every level except women/men's wear. nope.

Check customer service to check the brand of earphones. They don't bother. Say can't find. Then here's a comment to you. Chuck your database aside. It's a waste of money and destroying the rationality of it.

Well, can't find it then I guess that's that.

HairImage auntie - Ling

2009-06-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

I usually would find James of HairImage to cut my hair every single month because he knows how to solve the issue of preventing bulking of hair at the side.

For the two visits including today, she serves me with a great attitude which I find it rare in singapore. By the way, she's very fair in skin. XD. For the first visit, I asked her whether she knows on solving the hair bulking from the side and she said can. Of course, in the end bulking still appears after weeks, but I'm convinced of how sincere she is when trimming my hair.

For today's visit, whether I had queries, she would drop everything and listen to what I have to say. I was dumbfounded with her customer service and felt pleased. I wanted to try a new style so I let her have a free will. But, seriously, her skills ain't as good as James but I prefer her to cut.

Burden myself with more commitment.

2009-06-17T11:26:00.001+08:00

Seven desires in life.

Though I have killed the food temptation in life, but the yearn to feel the care & concern from a opposite gender is as strong as a wild fire.

My cousin told me it's stupid to go into a relationship. Well, I take the advice but still leave my options open. So, I went into violin, dragonboat, and perhaps taking wushu and film IG in school and keep myself occupied as much as possible.

Anyway, who the hell wants to C&C a obese retard?

Desire to seek another

2009-06-11T23:42:00.003+08:00

After the last failure, I seek to hear a clap before I head to action. Sometimes, I stop to think, my obesity is certainly a key factor which hinders every other thing. Most people looks at outer features rather than what's inside of them. It is like handsome = 100 greater traits and personalities. Ugly guys out there like me, if you have a girlfriend, then shut up and get off my blog, thanks.

In fact, I do have someone in mind though but I really hope to hear a clap before I make my move. I don't want to see another failure and see a key object break apart.

Learning violin soon. Felt eminent pain. Need to run and release.

2009-06-02T10:21:00.004+08:00

Learning violin soon. Need to raise a sum of money to buy one instead of a long term borrowing of cliston's violin.

Seems that besides my kaki's, these two girls earn my trust totally which I ain't sure why. But, seems that my bother of their habits has raise xh to ask why do I bother when she's not my relative like hf. Hmm, thinking deep, hey yeah that's true, but one thing is that I'm able to trust the two of them 100%. Well, since xh thinks that it's a irritating thing to bother about her, then it shall be and I won't do that anymore.

$750 for a violin. I've gonna starve to get savings to purchase a violin. painful it is but I hope to learn it while I'm alive. You never know what will happen the next moment.

Yesterday, hf,xh,yy went for their weekly swimming class. I went to play basketball with the junkies downstairs, though ain't acquaintances. I felt fustrated and so stress up at my chest. I wanna yell, I WANNA SCREAM AND I WANNA RUN AND SWEAT TILL I DROP. What was the cause? I don't know man. Perhaps it's because of a long term placement in my heart of every other matter which I don't wish to solve, adds up and BLAST me apart. Went running the park twice, and still felt so "indescribable."

My dear cousin hf ask me why I felt so restless and I don't know what to say when I don't even have the answer for myself. A day has passed, and forget it shall be.

I'm one who do things when I'm certain about it.

2009-05-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda person who does things with a high certainty.

I loathe false hopes.

I don't get these words "think", "thought", "maybe", "perhaps".

I want confirmation.

I'm sure everyone knows the feeling of putting your hopes up high & became a dual edged sword & cut by it pretty badly.

I know that pain & ain't savor it well.

Moments where I can free my thoughts.

2009-05-25T15:07:00.002+08:00

During the weekends, xh & hf went my house and play Rockband. Finally, I have a drummer, bass guitar. We went high and mighty, wrecking havoc( although xh & hf were kinda concentrating, and became so quiet till I could hear my voices.)Till today, my voice box have yet to recover.

You can say I felt free from my obligations to school & fyp, crank up fellow friends who wishes to harass me now and then( torturing me mentally), and seeing things which invokes sorrowful thoughts.

Felt free with hf,xh. Well, in the recent years, never once my friends come to my home except them. Perhaps deep down in me, I accepted them truthfully and I know I can trust them wholeheartedly.

Women are stronger than men?

2009-05-21T20:41:00.003+08:00

Other than the two girls, xh and hf whom have individually impressed me with what they are, another great one has surfaced.

She's another superwoman, working three jobs; one of it is freelancing for Mediacorp, to support herself and her needs. She has her own rental home, her parents ain't supporting her due to divorce and got break off from her emotional pillar, her boyfriend used-to-be.

Though it's tough on her, every module that I see her, always with a vibrant smile like there's a better day on and on and on. Admired truly.

Enjoyment seeking in weekends.

2009-05-21T19:58:00.002+08:00

To : Journal
In the previous week, on Friday itself, went with Joel to Starbucks at Novena. We sat down in starbucks somewhere at a cozy corner, with great scenery of water dripping on to the ground in colors of light. Treated Joel with a cup of espresso, and I had Lavachip blend. Not long enough, saw xh cleaning up the tables if I've remembered clearly, and felt sadden towards the two girls working on nights. If I were their parents and see such a scene, I would feel my kids had grown up and felt contented deep down in heart. ( Of course, they say their parents would not have said that. But, I'm sure in each of their parent's heart, the word pain floats out eminently.)

I asked them whether the job was tough. Instead of words of suffering, they actually enjoyed the experience but I find it late by the time they had reached home, and dangers always lurk in the dark.

The next day, went to see the girls rock&roll. Gretel sang really well especially Love Story by T.Swift. Bh&Bf were musically inclined and almost knew each instrument and played superbly and swept me dumbfounded. Hf had the airs of a great drumer and though sometimes errors occurred, but her beat with the rest bonded. Xh done well following the teachings by (either bf or bh) playing the bass guitar. Amazed I was to their performance.

Went to ate at the Japanese food court. Soon, Xh&Gretel got to leave for someone's birthday celebration. Went to bought tickets (angel&Demons) at 11pm and went to bh/bf house for a quick rest. Meet up with xh later at The Cathay. Nice show by the way.

On Sunday, supposedly to go for a family dinner but promises went to hf's friends and I find making the effort to fufil promises is important indeed. Went to Aston but found the food nothing special. To be exact, totally way off & it's overated. Perhaps I have yet try their steaks and shall leave another comment next time.

Later on, took a direct train with them. They set foot at Bishan while I'm reaching another end.

After weekends, my problems & worries are back. Looking forward for the next weekends.

Many unexpected events happened.

2009-05-19T22:07:00.003+08:00

Many unexpected events happen on this day of each week. I hope it's just pure friendly.

Anyway, new timing using sprint for the last 2 laps. Seems more tiring and the timing improve by 10 sec. ( 15.30 for 2.7km)

Many things to be written into my dearest Journal.

2009-05-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

Writing soon. Got two understanding tests ahead of me. Kinda busy. Soon. Real soon my Journal.

Running Week.

2009-05-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

You can see me jogging especially the days when frustration comes up.
Anyway, I finally see improvements to my runs. Here's the update.

When I was at 115kg, I ran for a pathetic 100m and stop jogging. 2.4km took me 45 mins.

when I was at 97kg, I ran for 500m and stop jogging. 2.4km took me 30mins.

When I am at 87kg, I ran for 2.7km and never stop jogging, it took me 15 mins 40 seconds.

I'm been running since Mon, Tue, Wed, Thurs. I'll gonna run everyday unless my legs fail me. I'll been told that my weight won't go down as I reach the limit at 90 kg. Though indeed the progress is slow, but I will go to the weight I want. As usual, reality is cruel to obese people and my beloved friends lost in love had proven me straight onto my face.

I ain't getting obesity to my face as an excuse and that's the punchline.

Joel's There a song for U. It's a sad sad situation...

2009-05-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Well, today went for a fyp meeting with ace, daroji, shakina and Lee Kong Sing.
Was not happy, but anyway part and parcel of life.

Went to gym which was decided yesterday with Joel, seeing him with thoughts of slimming down. We spend 2 hrs there and feeling exhausted.

We went to Velocity first and I went to bought my singlet since the singlets at home are oversize. Cost me 25 dollars and sure hurts my wallet. When in the changing room, I was wondering what the hell was wrong with the another customer changing at my right side. The thin wall was going "Thump" and "Thump".

Bought it and went to where Joel wanted to reminisce of. Bought a new pair of shoes for jogging. Finally. Puma's foam shoes. Comfy and light. Okay, carry on my story.

He decided to bring me to Vienna which was the place where Sarah and he went for their first anniversary. I kind of sense how Joel can react to someone he likes. Talks about how he came out with ideas of giving the presents, how he portrays himself, and I sense tingling sadness through his slit eyes. By the way, eat buffet like vienna, might as well go sakura sushi at science centre near Jurong interchange. It's cheaper and serves better.

Later on, we went out vienna and head out to the train station. Unexpectly, the train had problems moving on. Finally, the train upon reaching AMK, it stop and gave a announcement asking all the passengers to find a alternate transport to go to your respective destinations. Joel was even more "sian" then ever. AMk is where Sarah lives. We had to catch 952 I suppose, and kind of opposite her house. He was even sadder as before. Hope on the bus and saw someone wearing a watch similar to his and made him recall the couple watch he had bought for her.

What worst was upon alighting, the bus driver parked the bus at the place where Joel always send Sarah off to her bus, ironically 952. Sad, sad situation.

Of course, from the story above, it sounds very peaceful right? Actually, the violence scenes were taken out. He punches me every few steps he took.

P.S - Secondary Kakis who see this please don't tell Joel. I'm writing this for the sake of my old age, and I can read back to refer. Otherwise, Joel will wack me once again.

Turmoils. Seeking time to spend.

2009-05-10T23:54:00.003+08:00

I'm tired and Understanding Test is coming up. At the same time, I cannot anyhow eat what my mind wants. "Coincidentally", I need to keep fit for Napfa test and to face the cruel realities for obese people.

Lucky for me, I have two vessels for me to pour my worries and every other thing. One is xxx xxxx and the other I'm still uncertain since xxxx xxx's not my real kin but I do know I feel happy. Another thing I appreciate about xxxx xxx is that although xxxx xxx had a past which I felt painful, she still stands strong joyously in front of me. That's admirable. To think again, xxx xxxx also like another her. It's like a mirage I guess. Both can cook well, know house chores, similar to superwomen.

Of course, my kakis are there for me especially Clis & Qiwei. The three lecherous musketeers gx,greg, shamir are there to talk crap with me and sometimes I do enjoy. As usual, they like to tease me on not knowing how to flirt with a girl, how to talk flowery with a girl and things like that so on and so for. They are another source of entertainment for me seeing them bullshit all the way.

Hope to survive till the holidays.

Your qns with my answer.

2009-05-06T20:50:00.002+08:00

People ask why nowadays I make myself pack with stuffs till there's no day I can relax. Well, the answer is simple. I want my mind on something be it where I am. I don't want to have time to think about things that may not even happen. Like one sided "blank". I just I only start doing something to "blank" when I can hear a clap. ( It take two hands to clap. Not one.) It's disatrous to "blank" someone when someone don't feel anything. It's tormenting to me and in the end I suffered sliently and no one to blame for. So.....

In the meantime, I work myself to death, or either I exercise till I feel extreme fatigue.

Happy news. I'm dying soon. But, from 89 to 88 and to 87. Elated I am.

My eating habit Origins.

2009-05-05T18:20:00.003+08:00

When something clocked up my time, I would eat junk food.

Today, went to singpost at civic centre after school. Then, they told me need to go ICA because I'm a NS enlistee. Great, waste my time queuing and in the end need to go ICA.

Weekends. Labour day, and so on till Sunday.

2009-05-05T00:49:00.005+08:00

Candle lights writing vesak day though the day have not reach yet. At chinatown.
Before chinatown, went to tea chapter.
Nice experience and cozy.
Thompson plaza. Meet venue before going to tea chapter.
hf,xh and yy. we were at fairprice. xh was daring enough to sit in it. True enough, many onlookers thought she was mad. Btw, this day is on the Friday. One day before the chinatown outing.
Chinatown's german sausage. I like the uncle. He has a unique accent and style.
Almond frenzy on the day around chinatown. They ate the rice balls, I slurped down the soup.
If my memories don't fail me, that's Madeline, bi hui and bi fang(went to check out the music store), Gretel next to me when this was shot, and two others is hf and xh.

The auntie who was selling the rice balls.
Kinda random pictures all over the place. Tired as I am, this i how it is.

On sunday before I leave hf's house, xh showed me some clips of Mummy, and Xiao lao Hu. Adorable and felt bliss just watching it. But, it ain't gonna change my mind of raising a pet. Perhaps in the future I dare say not.

Today's presentation of image movie

2009-04-30T15:46:00.002+08:00

Astonish by the performance of weiting in her very own movie clip. Her expressions and emotions were shocking as she's very quiet during class.

Told by FaFa and rauhda not to lose weight anymore scared that body's size drop but face still remain the same. - _ -"

photos at admiralty Park.

2009-04-30T14:43:00.002+08:00

Stupid JieQin. Run away from Cam.
Eating Egg tart. No time the whole day.

Rush.
Still Rush.

My face too serious is it? Sorry lah.

2009-04-27T14:49:00.003+08:00

This is exactly what I wrote for the title.

For those people in the 4 new classes I had which I have known them from previous semester, they can understand me. For those who don't know me, treat me like some superior forcing them to work diligently. The words I intended to spoke perhaps to them sounds like an order. But one thing good is we always delivered quality work like today's digital and imaging module.

Seriously speaking, you guys want me to complain to my mother for giving me this seriously serious face? Rofl, I can't smile as always.

Today's day. Went to the police station.

2009-04-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

Today around 1 plus in the afternoon, anger surged me about the comment" miss, how much you're charging" towards hf,xh. In fit of anger, I went to online reporting the issue.

To my dismay, they called me up and requested to meet me and the both girls at AMK station either today or tomorrow. I called up hf with guiltiness about the matter. Went asap to her house, watch a little of jackie chan's oldies and went off together heading to the station.

We had to make statements and went into the room with the guy on call with me previously. From there, I can see many uncertainty that xh did not want any more trouble. For me, I knew I had did something without asking for opinions and did something without thinking twice and letting my rage get the better of me.

After that, I get something valuable from the lesson.

First and foremost, start thinking twice when anger rages in.
Stop my mind in black & White, start going in the grey area.

The cinema House.

2009-04-26T12:52:00.002+08:00

During 2d game and design module, sitting next to mint, got a call from hui fang, or perhaps i called her, she wants to watch magique. I went to the cathay website and see it's synopsis. First impression has told me this would be a artistic savvy film something like Billy ellilot. Surprisely, I didn't know that she would like this genre of films.

For me, I do love it as every individual section of the film contains a meaning to and fro. Every incident, every occasion or even the slightest breath taken could mean something. That's how facinating in these genres of film.

As usual, we went to orchard to catch the movie at The Cathay. Went to the same Jap food court and I still ate the vege pancake. Hf ordered Omelette rice, Xh ordered rice in a stone bowl which resembled korean dishes, Yang ordered the first meal I had there.

After the movie, we waited 45 mins for the bus to come by. Ain't splurging on taxi. I turned in first, dying of fatigue while xh and hf watched mr bean before their beauty sleep.

Next morning, I woke up freaking early. Well, it has been a habit to wake up before 9. I waited for them to wake up, instead of me forcefully pull them out of their dreams. 12 30, ate our lunch which 2nd uncle bought for us, and we began to prepare going out collect medicine for the bunnies, then to take passport photos and to buying items to make the cake.

Talking about baking a cake, I'm a garanteed loser for this. Thanks to hf, xh the cake was moulded like a cake. During the process of making the cake's appearance hf thinks that xh made the top of the cake unpleasantly distorted. I felt there was going to be another argument and I'm paranoidly afraid of such things to happen and quickly try to distract them to the show about Jack Neo talking about his life.

Actually, making the cake out has already please my goal fittingly. Seriously to say, the cake is as though the two of them make themselves. What I did was insufficently enough; I did only the cake base.

Went to play basketball later and saw xh was wearing singlet. But didn't care much since she's not playing anyway. Played with the two guys saw previously, lost but enjoyed. Played with the monks, got thrashed but happily ate the defeat. Later, a group of uncivilised barbarians came and did something atrocious.

This obese guy say something to either hf, xh and even both of them. Translated in english, he said" Miss, how much are you charging?" While playing with them, I was staring daggers at them and they should know I'm doing it. Of course, I won't be irrational to have a fight with them as that is purely dumb. Guess what? I've send a letter to the police via online to keep a lookout for them around that avenue. Haha, this is so vicious of me. I only do things eye for a eye. Touch the people around me, you will get paid in full sum.

Went home to celebrate with my mother. She's in tear knowing I "baked" the cake. The first woman I ever made food for. Elated I am.

Scene happening like what happened during yr 1 sem 1

2009-04-23T20:14:00.001+08:00

Seems like it's happening again. Oh well, I don't actually mind. You believe who I am, that that's me. You believe something from other people's mouth than mine, so that's me.

I won't bother to explain. It would seems I'm trying to argue my way out. Anyway, no trust then I guess no talk then. Rumors are destructive I guess.

Wed after FYP meeting at 10am.

2009-04-23T18:54:00.002+08:00

Meet Fifi, sharkina, ace and kong sing for fyp. Script need to redo.

Later went to Bishan. Reach slightly early. Went walk around Junction 8. Then met up with hf,xh for badminton. Sweat profusely. The blisters on my hands cause a drop of my racket. Drop once, not to drop again.

(Blisters occured due to training inclined pull up. Forced by Cliston. Thanks to him, he's pushing me to limit)

Went to supermarket. Unexpectly, hf and xh gonna cook. I was happy sure enough as I rarely eat homecooked food nowadays.

hf cook marinated wings and taste superb, juicy and succulent, rice was slightly wet but I liked it anyway. xh cooked vegetables with mushroom and omelette. Vege still preserves a little crispyness and mushrooms were not too squishy.

Omelette was special. It tastes sweet and I like it sweet instead of salty which my mum hates sugar in dishes.

I felt guilty about causing them to fall ill. One had fever, one had flu. They still had to cook food.

Especially hf, hates eating medicine I guess. Like cliston too, scared immunity would fall.

Went home.

Perhaps these two girls are the strongest of whoever I have known.

Nope, still got my mum ranking number 1. Rofl.

Photos from the Last week of holidays.

2009-04-21T19:36:00.003+08:00

Ice cream I had at liquid Kitchen.
We were waiting for the call by the auntie at LiquidKitchen.
Drumlets that ordered repeatedly by Hui Fang.
This is the dinner we went. Humid weather.

First day of the semester.

2009-04-20T15:03:00.002+08:00

I felt weird seeing new faces and felt the stress of targeting A for every single lesson I had or in the eminent future.

Miss the times I had fun with huifang, xh, and yang. Tired and stress up. Don't intend to put any effort in making new friends. Waste of my thoughts only.

Its' been days. Weight at 89.

2009-04-14T21:25:00.002+08:00

Finally, from 115 to 95, 95 to 90, 90 to 89. I'm having severe backache for no reason. It's either someone whacks me during my sleep, or I strained my back from gym sessions which I don't recall doing any back weight training.

Current time now is 930. Thou pain, I decide to go for a jog downstairs my park. I cannot give up now. 80 is a must. Sprayed some pain killer on my back. I left with 5 days before school reopens.

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Sometimes I hoped the things my cousin said was ain't real. I recalled the happy moments of eating steamboat together on Sunday, april 12 around 7. I'm seriously at a loss to do anything. Sometimes I do hope someone to ease my burden but I guess I'm on my own. I can't talk about it to my little brother, my sister though she knows but kinda busy with her matters of her own. She's been in Polytechnic for just two days.

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Jog finish and slack at the fitness corner, lay on the bench and look into the skies.

signed off
Alvin Soh

Bishan.

2009-04-14T19:52:00.000+08:00

Some people ask me why I decided to go down to 80 that drastically?

2009-04-14T14:23:00.000+08:00

Well, now I have a companion who is seeking to slim down. My dear cousin, hf. Whenever I felt like eating, I would think twice and remember someone out there is also trying very hard to not overeat. My motivation became twice as much then ever before. Well, its nice to have someone slimming down at the same time. I find it gratifying.

I will go down. That's final. Let's say 2 mths? I shall see the results.

Troubles for the next semester.

2009-04-14T12:15:00.000+08:00

These past holidays, in fact I'm sincerely grateful to hf, xh to listen my worries and everything. Kinda relieve some of my burden. Shall not trouble them anymore as kinda embarrassing and felt like giving them more trouble.

In the coming new semester, I have many troubles to carry.

1. Lost weight till 80kg. I consulted some people who jogged for 12 minutes and most of them are at a weight of 80kg + - .

2. Go gym as regularly and train the machines which help to stress muscles for the Napfa test.

3. Pull my grades to 3.5.

4. Pull to a new level with my relationship towards my siblings and my mum.

I wished I had a eighth day.