Wednesday, August 27, 2008
This is the day where my ah gong is going to be cremated to ashes. My relatives and I were talking about whether we gonna cry out or hold on our tears. I told them seven mandarin characters which is an idiom," 男儿有泪不轻弹". Which means only grave matters which tears would be revealed out.
Around 1.30pm, we were parading on the streets with our ah gong walking him down to the crematorium barefooted. Although I'm unsure of what that means, but i guess its suppose to be the last walk with him. The strangest thing is one of my relatives is the head of some gang in Singapore. Around twenty plus guys with tattoos guarding the road to let us pass.
Soon, reaching the crematorium, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Accept my mucus keep on flowing every minute. The critical moment came. We were all standing a piece of window pane and watch what is going to happen. I did not know what happenings would occur. At the extreme left corner, I saw the tip of the coffin being situated on the track for burning. Tears flooded out profusely and I had breathing difficulties. My little cousin ask me what would happen to Ah gong. I forcefully smiled to him and said, "he is going to the second stage of life."
Upon hop to the bus going back to Bishan, I had an experience never felt in my life. Flashbacks of my ah gong and I playing during my age of a child. My cousins and I loved to jump on his bed and sat with him talking how fun was it to come his house. Then, I recalled the last visit I went to see him just before his demise. I grab hold his hand telling him its fine as he was having recalls of his past. At that time, I knew he could not make it in few days time.
But I guess the one who is suffering is not my Ah gong but my ah ma. Although she never told us anything, I can feel the agony in me more exponentially added to her.
Age : 20
Family