Suppose to learn dance from Fifi.

All went where? ( Actually got other reasons...)

Went to dan's house eat with his family.

Oh, we got to know casandra from the basketball court. She's joining us tonight.

Dan seems interested... Cheeky him.

Hope tomorrow's a nice day for me.

Lied to me.

You of no better should know how much I hate liars.

I actually believed in you till the very end.

But, all's a mist to me.

Let's see what happens after FYP, after the semester.

Please don't talk to me. I can't hit you, bear to scold you. Sorry if I kept quiet if I see you.

Perhaps if possible, we could take driving license together.

Perhaps.

As usual, had fun with 2Ms. Can say that they are my counsellors whom I seek when I don't feel well.

I can see myself slowing down in the progress to difficult in DDR. Gotta improve not letting down my Shifus.

Basketball today with 4 people instead of 3. Long story. Fatigue ain't allowing me to type.

I wish there would be such outing again.

Sometime like today, Sunday, October 25, 2009.

I hope all of us are in place, happy as a lark.

We will be the supporting personal for each other be it rain or shine. I vouch for it. What about you?

We will break as one, but strong as whole.

So stay in line, and we are hard nut to crack.

Happy is all I want, and hope you give it to me.

1. Blabber anything behind my back; no problem. But, it better be the facts. Or I'll hunt you down be it where you are. And I'm darn serious.

2. Play with fire in a game with me you shall try, and I give you worthy of the pain you shall take.

3. I just want to be simple; without worries, without burdens. Get out of my life.

Why do I feel that someone had lied to me big time?

My so called sixth sense acting up.

I hope I'm wrong.

Causing headaches in me with series of problems.

Nevertheless, happy with my friends having fun. Even doing nothing, it's a relief to my aching soul.

I don't know why. Your smses makes me freak out.

The phone rings, my heart would pause that moment.

The scariest lady I ever seen.

I feared most in my life.

Blame me whatever you want.

In return, left me off.

Mind

Think you are defeated, you are the loser.
Think you no guts, you are the coward.
Desire to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

Think you’ll lose, you’re lost in your heart.
For out in the world we seek always every second, every minute,
Success begins with a will, source of strength,
It’s all in the state of mind, mind that you have, mind that you shaped.

Think you are outclassed; you are nothing in social status.
Think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before we are sure of you.

Life’s battles don’t always go; it’s in every juncture, every occurrence, every episode near us.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

This is cooked by my Ah po. Pork with peanuts soup. Deliciously unbelievable!
My mum's steamed fish. Almost tasteless but kudos to her hard work. Thanks mum.
Her veggies is CMI. I could feel a layer of oil on my lips. But, I like home-cooked food. Warmth is greatly felt though my taste buds are furious.

Yawn. Slept at 5am. I wanted to clear my debts a.s.a.p.

Supposingly to go out with Joel, Ade, and Elvin. They are heading to Holland Village, eat Crystal Jade's buffet. I felt it was kinda expensive, thus decided not to.

Around in the noon, felt bad about not going and when to the gym with Joel. Follow on, he left and I went to meet Joy at JP. She's going back to school soon. Ate lunch at Subway, and head down to Gothix. Then I realise I left my bracelet at the gym's treadmill. I loved that bracelet a lot as it has black & silver groove on it. Saw Gothix had a similar one but at a price of 30 dollars. Sadded big time.

Joy went around bringing me looking for a suitable bag to use when school re-opens. Her favorite bag's strap broke. We practically when to each store that has the possiblity selling of bags. Later on, I went in Options and try fit two designs I loved.



I really love this but the price sway me away. Joy loves this too. She brought me to ManMaster and in the end, was soft-eared to heed her words buying this long sleeve shirt which broke a hole in my wallet. ( well, my wallet kinda shabby too and holes in it.)

Anyway, went to charles and keith and Joy was attracted to this warm brown bag which I thought could really go with with many outfits of hers. But I knew she would never buy it as the price was at 70 dollars! In the end, she bought the bag that look like lacoste, at the very shop near Everlast. 40 dollars. Phew, at least she did not got the other one. On the way home, sneak peak Gothix again, I fell in love with the metallic bracelet that was showcase out. Has three sides of fusion black and silver, mesmerizing to me.

Took 187, and went working on at home.

My Mom's cooking previously, around two days ago.

Uploading pictures soon.

Morning went for training in school.

Rain heavily. Wasted my time.

Went in class.

Did editing of photos.

Presentation.

Went find Ace discuss about FYP at Subway.

Head to school library to find cliston; going home with him since on the way.

By chance, saw Sim Fenni, Shu Xian and Berry discussing FYP. Sat down and hear about it.

Don't know how it start, I began to chip in ideas since I was there doing my RJ.

Hope it helped them.

Fenni was performing her moods when discussing FYP. Kinda interesting.

Anyway, when back home with Fenni and Shuxian since all hitching the same train.

We were discussing about our secondary lives.

Fenni say about how daring and monstrous she was in school. She even threw water on the cleaning lady when she was answering her call in the toilet. Hilarious of her.

Shuxian had a much peaceful life in secondary school. She had a fierce discipline master whom taught them social studies for two years. Everyone were afraid of him, and even some of them; eyes shutting, they had to force strength to stretch out their eyelids.

Went home, as usual, fatigue drag me down no matter where I went. Felt like going out with 2Ms, but body not saying it. Later, Cousin asked me to come down asap to play ball. Some better players are at the court right now, and they lack one person. Went down unwillingly and played for an hour. They were rough but I went with their style to ensure victory.

Phone rang when I sat near it, seeing that I got a new fb acc! Not mine, fenni's acc. She wants me to serve her chicken in cafe world. Facebook application got that fun arh?
Guess so for most people but not for me.

Later went home after a "bar chor me" session with them, click the chicken and went to do my work. Then on, still work. Again, work.



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P.S: Are you able to tell me what is your mistake? If not, then don't bother getting me through any modes of communication. Told you once, but you did it again. Don't give me the excuse of you thinking simple. I'm no retard. Don't waste my time, neither wasting yours.

After school walking to the station with qin, then head towards JP. Got two new senseis coaching me in DDR. Perhaps, some of you don't know, actually I'm a retard in coordination towards my steps.

I stepped on the machine, and being the first lesson by them. Being taught about the basic stepping issue, ( I love to return to the center after some series of steps) thus Mie said that need to discipline my "ka".

Later on, Mie showed me by playing a very basic song, so that I could understand about the issue of leaving my foot after the step, then to the next one.

At first, the next song on DDR, advice seems to fall on dead ears. Legs not doing the suppository work. Later on, somehow more used to leaving my previous foot there, and continue stepping with the other.

Further on in time, I watched how Mie & Mich played DDR once again. Sure enough, I was astonished how excellent they played the game, how their footwork had amazed me. Mich was accurate in the beat, and thus had a higher score than Mie. But, seems that Mie's speed can go a higher level than Mich except her accuracy not to the point of Mich.

Well, to the people out there who don't know them, they are really great in what the play, even in KOF.

What corrected me was commands from Mie. "Left, Left , Right, Right, Left..." As I was lost suddenly in my footwork, her commands did work well.

Now my first lesson has began. Hope able to play a higher difficulty.

Thanks to 2Ms~
Nice of them to teach ~

Friday's another day of torment. In the early morning, military training takes place. Then, long school hours follow by sparring which I'm not very interested.

How? I don't know. Take a step once a time.

Saturday's approaching. Not really enthusiastic about going to holland village. Kinda far, and don't know where it is situated. Be meeting Joel, ade and Elvin.

P.S - I felt tired and slept on my bed. Guess what I dream of. Someone massaging my back as I was feeling tired. Woke up and found it hilarious. But, kinda feel happy. Don't know why. Mysteriously weird but smiles shown vividly later. ^^

We were given each slip of paper writing two words. I got " I cannot..." and we need to use these two words at a start for the paragraph.

This is what I wrote.

I cannot forgive smokers who implicate others especially when these smokers walk down the corridor full of people, how many of them are inhaling the harmful toxics? Except him/her with the filter in the mouth, the rest had a higher percentage getting related diseases and the repercussions carries on and on to many significant issues not only the second hand smoker.

Sabrina read my essay to the class. The first reaction some gave was, " I thought you were a smoker." Sandy shouted, " Me too." I was befuddled. I look that fierce to be thought that way. That's my first impression to them. XD

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P.S - If you still do not get the mistake, do not call me or find me.

I have been eating 4 to 5 full meals a day. Why do I feel so hungry?

Got worms in me? If this continues for a week, I'm going to enforce discipline to myself.

Yup, I will suffer big time, and feel really low.

Went to meet 2Ms after school. Found them at the competition pool without my specs. Everything was blurred to me. Saw them due to their frantically waving over.

Went in and got disturbed by the lifeguard of wearing a t-shirt. I was actually wearing a ARENA shirt suit. I know that the shirt was allowed. The only difference between me and that lifeguard is a renewed CPR certificate for my side. Maybe my facial expressions caught to his attention. X(

After 2Ms went to the toilet, I sprinted two laps of freestyle for warming my body up. Then. we went to the lazy pool. Mich and I went to the right, heading down the pool, while Mie went to the left. We followed Mie in confusion and realized we are doing the same thing in the other direction. Giggles in me. Went in the lazy pool, drift like a fish. After few minutes, I saw the water guns before the artificial rock mountains sprouting out. Arh! Time to get out of the lazy river and head down to the wave pool!

2Ms went in quickly, while I tag behind, slowly feeling the water pushing against my legs. Drag my "ka" bit by bit, then in we are, waves start to whack in hard. *Mental Block* Then, 2Ms want to carry me. Shocked big time. Amazingly, the both of them carried me well. WonderGirls do exist. ^^

Anyway, when I jumped on Mich, she raise her self up and knock my jaw up. I fell. into. the. water. instantly... Retry and success.
Mie did a epic stunt. She jumped from my left, and hop, then drop from the right. =_=

"Mental Block"

Head to JP to fill my stomach. Ate subway. Mie went home to eat. Later on, too tired to go to arcade. Went to take 187 with them. Talk craps and more, then alone I was heading to my bus stop. Alight there, and went to the kopitiam I usually go, and bought seafood fried rice. Ironically, this young girl who ordered for me, stuttered ... Am I that freaking monstrous? I felt like arh, sorry. didn't meant to frighten you. Later, while waiting, she gave me continous looks, with another counter girl. =_=

Freak me out. Tell her that my parents did not want me to look fierce, but no choice? Rofl. Went home, chit chat with Skakis and slept.

Try buying the fried rice from there to see really the same thing is going to happen.

Tired. Post about today another day. The next post would be interesting. Garanteed.

In the morning, I coaxed myself up the bed, finish the necessary toilet etiquettes, and head out for the military training. We were gathered at the soccer field, and heard something amusing, but later found it threatening.

"Today, we shall run 7 rounds around the track! Each clock less than 1min and 45 seconds!"

First, three rounds it was a breeze to clock less than 1min 40 seconds.
Later on, when reaching the end for each individual lap, i was like walking on air, my legs were feeling numb, and I started to raise my legs higher and higher, almost similar to marching. Hilarious indeed, and did ran quicker than the proposed time.

At the last lap, I could feel my heart throbbing forcefully in me. That kind of impact was a first experience. Legs feeling the lactate filling in, sweat flowing profusely, and head right for the last timing; phew. Got 1min 27 seconds for the last clock-in. Should be able to achieve silver for my run.

Took a quick shower, and head back to get a drink with Nic and gang. Went to our respective classrooms in fatigue and the day kicks off.
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Today, Nic asked me to hop to his FYP team doing on Industry FYP, touch-screen game. Requested budget was 50k, and had 3HDtv for projection.

Ironically, this was the project issued to us at first, but my team mates worry about handling it.

I was tempted as I knew this would give me a great leap in my future work course.

I was as the same time, obliged to continue with the project; stopmotion.

Thus, I decided to consult my team-mates first, whether they allow me to go over. I will go with their answers be it, their reply is ain't want I want.

Told ace about it during dinner. He say he was stress and will jump from the building if I hopped. I was dumbfounded. Like I said, the three of them decide my fate. He keep whining about how much workload he has, and gave expressions which I felt piss at.

Like neither of us need to work. Thus, I told him if he were to show that "him" again, I will be affected, so will fifi and verdell; nothing is going to go well in the stopmotion project.

Makes me think that Singaporeans are well-fed and not able to handle much workload. You never will know, actually the person next to you may well be a man whom braved through many heart-wrenching situations, endure tough times, and what worst is you complain about how your finger hurts; to him.

Ace, not blaming you of anything. Oh. except that time when you almost killed me.
Just that, the stress thingy is what makes us a better man. As the most, we go out chill, drink a little and face the day after.

Morning I went out from Daniel's house. Not waiting my my cousin hang to wake up. Had to meet up with Skakis. Went home, took a bath and went to imm. Get a custard puff from POLAR. Then, pass by a shop selling different colors of shoelaces. Got fascinated and bought my three favorite colors, green, red and black.


Today, felt like wearing black and red series. Woar Von Dutch shoes with the new red laces placed in, and went out happily.

Met up with Mie and Mich (2Ms), JJ and will. Happy even not doing anything. Feel relax big time. Watch the movie Tsunami and felt moved with all the sobby scenes. My emotions evoked at several times.

Later went to the fountain of Cathay, and chat awhile.

Went Plaza Sing to find Gene at the arcade. I finally got to experience KOF( Should be KOF, can't remember vividly). Do my best to play well.

Later went around the food heaven of Plaza Sing, get some finger food and headed to the station. As usual, we crap crap and more crap. Went to JP, and send Mie home as usual. Then, we head down to the arcade. Finally, wack the DDR!





Before that, saw will on Para-Para. He's good.

Apologies to friends I went out with this season. I'm affected by many issues thus I bring my emotions to my very face. Seems like more and more problems stack exponentially.

Thanks for being my listeners! You know who you are!

Going out showing my 'stone' face.

Going out showing anger in me.

Going out with my body there, soul drifting away.

I try to change alright. Perhaps like mich said, get a gf, solve 3 problems straight away. Perhaps I would feel more happier than usual. I'll change. No promises.


Be happy. XD ^^

Two STA modules taken besides my own school relevant modules.

1. Character Design.
2. Art of story.

Literally, you would think character design is about making out a design with creative thoughts. That's just skimming through the surface. From day 1, after hearing Mr Teelip-to-be, psychology of how to portray the chracter, alter ego to note and many things that we are unsure of.

Art of story. Creating a story with randomness? *Laughs* Nope. Composition is one thing, knowing literature, knowing of how story can appeal, engage the audience;eye contact.


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Hf sms me at 4 plus in the morning. Baffled big time. I thought I had made myself clear.
Get out of my life. I'm happy with my friends, and that's all I need. Stressful to see you, see your name, see your calls, see unknowns, etc, making me not breathable.

L.M.A

Today had much fun but in a headache, addition with feeling the cold outside, feeling the heat in me.

Anyway, slept at Joel's home. Woke up and went gym with him. Felt extreme fatigue in me. Continue to survive.

Wanted to go AMK to renew nebo card. Halfway down, I guess Joel find it troublesome, and perhaps knew that I want to avoid that area, thus head straight down to the basketball court near Mich's home.

Went in a bakery store which sold some good pastries at a cheap price. Joel bought bubble tea. Then, went to the court and wait. Called mich down and wait for her basketball to roll play.

After sometime, I can feel my body reaching a limit, especially after playing 1v1 with Joel. It's a feeling I rarely felt for long.

Went JP and played a little of drum-mania. Then, head for Subway for dinner. Walk around with mich see got any nice shirts or jackets for our clique shirt. Getting shaky and heat & cold wrenching my heart.

Bye to mich, and went home. Drench myself in cold water, killing the heat in me, enduring the cold. Later, argue with my father about expanding. Not opening another store opposite Ya Kun Toast, fighting someone which has reputation. Blood pressure raised, and heat in me amplifying exponentially.

What about playing timetable with the girl you love, using the fingers? Would that be romantic?

Perhaps blow on the window pane, forming mist and write how much you love her; romantic?

Thinking in session.

Jamie & mich came to my school, wait for me till my sparring ended.

Went to JP to have our dinner. Jayme had to go home eat. A bit envious of eating home cooked food. Sick of food outside. Thanks to such food, having fever, sore throat killing me. Send Jayme home, then head to Jurong point eat LJS.

Bought red wine from 7-11. Happy hour starts now at his home.
Aftertaste of wine was that bad; taste so sour. Leave too long and turn bitter.

Today team up with Puay yek(again XD), Lynnda and Pei en. Each of us do on a particular printing process such as magazines, t-shirts, etc. Lynnda done the complilation of our slides.

Lynnda and Pei en busy chit chatting on fashion trends. Especially blogshops, Lynnda is one that loves such stuffs. That's her bubbly side.

Puay Yek as usual, sat a side and kept real quiet. As usual her sighness is sticking on her since Monday.

Bored. School life is boring.

Third day of school.

Not bad, although most I do not know at all, I kinda communicate well with my group mate. Shawal, Wendy and martin. Today's module was on storytelling. We had to tell a story with 20 random things and linked them in sync. We laugh our heads off due to how random we made the story and crap around as and when is possible.

Our facilitator gave us this question for our reflection journal.
"My story begins...(please continue)."

This is what I wrote to her.

Oops. Sorry, the content cannot be shown. Let me keep some secrets of my own.

First day - Not bad, I presume all are DIDM fellow friends. Team with Puay Yek, Jian wei. Doing on chili advertisement. Got a little awkward with meeting some friends in the class which many god-zillion years never seen.

Second day - It's another school module but we(the DIDMS) Populated almost the whole class. Teamed with arini, azeela and jacky. Though I find arini and azeela very quiet and shy. Heard all of them telling about their personality and their alter ego.

Kinda fun today, as I heard Fenni talking about herself like so aloof, calm. She says she likes to be around with crapping and fun people. XD. Funny of her to say that. But I did see her alter ego when she is working at Jurong Point, and games that she play. Also get to hear some different diploma's people of who they are.

Work is nice. I feel something to replace my emotions. I rather feel fatigue kicking in physically, than compare to torment in mind.

Nike Run is around the corner. 24th October. I have to meet my cousin and xh once again. It's vexing. I do not want another debate about who's right or wrong. I already made my stand of telling them to leave me alone. But it seems, they don't get it.

L.e.a.v.e M.e A.l.o.n.e

That is all I ever wanted from them. I don't care anything else.

Right now, I want to have fun with friends, help them if I ever had that ability, wreck havoc together and that's that.

Enjoyed feeling the salty breeze of air.

Enjoyed feeling of stepping the sand, not feeling off the earth.

Enjoyed feeling of looking at the azure blue sky.

Enjoyed feeling of talking crap with my close friends.


P.S. Love the cheesecake. If it was more cheesy, I would like it big time.
Asahi still the best.

We are not here to play, to dream, to drift;

We have hard work to do, and loads to lift;

Be Strong!

It matters not how deep intrenched the wrong,

How hard the battle goes, the day how long;

Faint not—fight on!

Someone taught me this. Apologize who read and taught me this. Perhaps it's Malvin. Perhaps it's someone important to me. I'll fight on.

This is delicate to someone who is my friend. Hope you can infer my words.

I'm breaking apart. How am I suppose to face my cousin and Xh in the future? Family gatherings they would be there. Celebrations of festivals they would be there too.

So am I going to explain another round? Ignorance I have done. Ain't working. I don't want to see them anymore. They think simply too much and doubt everything I say. I just want someone simple. That's all. A girl that willing to walk with me, enjoy the bliss, savor the bitterness and walk the path of life.

Got rejected is a small issue, but after I got doubt for being angry, which I explained clearly myself for four times. After that, I silently admitted to all my mistakes as I didn't want to voice my thoughts again. I'm sick of repeating myself. Now, I bear the guilt and mistakes on myself. Easier life for me and I do not need to explain once again and get doubts which I loathe to core.

Second issue. I'm kinda tired handling the house as in taking care of my siblings, luckily my little brother did not stray off to being a gangster, and my sister is working hard in school. My dear mother is taking care of the laundry, of course she likes to use "aiya, I wish someone could have help me..." and my siblings and I had to help out as and when is possible.

My father is indeed a successful businessman. But, he fails as a father. I'm as though doing his job and I hate him for that. Fails to celebrate our birthdays, fails to turn up for family gatherings, fails to mingle and know about us; he ain't know anything about us or how we fare either in social or work. I still remembered vividly how he caned me during my sleep due to his druken stupor. I remembered this for long.

I had to be the one for my family. Not trying to say I hate it, I wish someone would share these with me. It's getting heavy day by day. Tiring and fatigue to core. Though sometimes the burden gets removed for a short period of time, I have to face it at the end of the day.

Another issue is I got hold of two problems which ain't suppose to happen in the first place. This is embarrassing; but I feel irritated when I never do anything to signify passion for the other. Worst of all, some of my friends partook in this situations and I had to apologize for issues I've never done. Anyway, the most pressed matters are still settling cousin, xh and my father. My siblings are voicing out to me about my father's not doing well his job. Actually, till the very end, what I need?

I don't know. My friends asked me venture in relationship again when I lost this kind of trust after my first and 4 sweet years of romance. Break due to my obesity is causing her losing face. How people can be so superficial as and when they like. Well, I don't blame her as I was fat till I loathe myself when I look in the mirror. 120 ++ was me at that time. I was devastated. Then, finally meet the second one whom had many interests just like me, can talk about anything under the sun; she ain't want commitment. Commitment to me is important.

Third one, xh, she thinks too much and doubts here and there like my cousin. I'm blind to think she's suitable. I loathe totally when people doubt me. My style would be not explaining anything. You take my words, fine! Not, then forget it. Explained but treated nothing but mere dust speckles.

Of course as usual, I'm not a guy who will let my emotions get to my studies. I hope I get in to the roll of honours once again. At least, my dearest Mother would be happy and feel glad that what she had done was worthwhile.

Buck up, Soh. You have a long way ahead of you. Survive.

Upon writing this post, first thing comes to my mind would be cliston. He's unhappy that I fled from the supposed outing to fish prawns and to "ton" the night. True, he speak the words from my heart; I didn't wanna go as I'm afraid that I would have not much energy to hang on. But, I'm still would still love to go for the outing as I promised them.

Sorry my friend. I sincerely hope it would not affect anything at all. My fault for putting two things on the same day. Got that in mind. I don't want to lose a great friend/ pal which ain't easy to get together.

Truthfully,

me.

♥ HEARTBREAKER ♥ Age : 20
Birth : 08/02/1990
Status : In a relationship with Low Wei Ting
Welcome to my blog. Enter desirable comments only.
Haters > Liars, people who take my trust for granted.[x]

Age : 19
School : Republic Polytechnic
Contact : [My Hotmail] or [My Facebook]

Loves
Family
Friends
Korean dramas
Korean pop
Slimming down
Eat!
And still eat!

Be happy
No regrets
Finding the one?
Hope my family and friends as happy as always~

Michelle Ng
Jayme Quek
Marlene Lim
Puay Yek
Fifi aka Daroji
Ace Goh
Bao Wei
Rui Qi
Verdell Tan
My Life @ Tumbler
My Stories @ Tumbler
Jowent Seow
Rini Ong aka Ziqian

S Do not edit credits. Thanks. =D

Designer :ME

Music
Korean - My way

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