Monday, February 9, 2009
I'm in the mourning period so some of my friends knew I cannot receive any presents besides my kin. Of course, deep down in my heart I hoped for it.
February 8, my grandfather, grandma are holding their 70th birthday on this very day. I thought to myself whether this was a jackpot or something I would regret. True enough, my father bought cake for the old folks and we sang the birthday song to them. Only by then, my mother push me in to them and they carry on sing the birthday song, some revealed astonish faces. I did not know how to react but felt mixed in my heart. I ain't happy alright and the cake was not for me. The meaning was not there. The anger built little by little in me. Alright, I bear with it. My old folk's birthday anyway. I bought a air purifier for the both of them and a shaver for my grandfather. At the same moment, my grandfather realised he struck toto! Glad for him, also I saw the rest of the cousins showered him with gifts including bird nests. Indeed, jealousy aroused.
I was still anticipating presents from my family and how they are going to wish me. I had no hopes pin on my little brother, place the hopes on my parents and my sister. Upon reaching home, I asked them what they get for me. My sister say she had work till 6pm, so she had no time to get anything for me. I became silent. I asked my mother what she had get for me. She said she don't know what I want and thus, did not get anything for me. Silent and slient in me. What worst was my father did not even wish me happy birthday and don't even bother to cook up an excuse for not having a gift.
To me, wishing someone happy birthday is appreciate that particular person being born to this world. To me, my birthday is something to take note of who appreciate my being in this world. That is how feb 8 is so important to me. The gifts from my family are worthy for my notice and I really hope to recieve it. My mother and sister wanted to get for me the next day but I rejected without blinking as that defeats the purpose. I'm seriously disappointed and upset.
Feb 8, I have not receive any presents from anyone. I felt pain and tired. This is my feb 8. The key to my anger and sadness is from my father's attitude and his "caring" thoughts about me. Come to think again, it's been many years since he gave me anything. Few days back, feb 5, I even bought a cake for him to celebrate before 12. I don't get to hear a thank you or what so ever. I'm tired of his behavior.
Grumpy, upset, disappointed.
Age : 20
Family